Seventeen years ago I was engaged to marry a lady who had a strange preoccupation. Every night she would put on her fatigues and go out back with her miner's helmet in search of a gopher. She'd done this every night for close to a year. One night I came by to do some slow dancin' with her and her sister, Kate, but she was so obsessed with that gopher that she plumb forgot about me altogether. She'd creep quietly across the back yard with her little army surplus campin' shovel raised above her head and that sickly little light dimly glowin' from her forehead. Then, as she saw, or thought she saw, something move, KA-WACK!!! that shovel'd come down and shake the ground. Too bad she's so nearsighted and couldn't hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle. Really sad about old Tillie...Her sister and I been married goin' on 8 years now...
Marcus Tee
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